Deathless Way

Posterity is a way to become deathless. As one passes on one's genes through heredity, one's genetic traits manifest and leaves a genetic map on another human being even after one leaves this ephemeral world. It adds color and spice to make life meaningful. What is originally ephemeral becomes eternal as it leaves an imprint of one individual on another, like a fossil that speaks of what existed in the past.

After three days of a get away in Laoag City, I came back to Manila with the surprise of the loss of a person dear to me in the persona of my best friend's grandmother. Death naturally comes to all of us. But whenever it strucks us, whichever the situation may be, whatever the age of the person involved, the hole of emptiness that it leaves on the living does not change the depth of the pain that it etches in our minds and hearts. The passing away of a person seemed surreal to us. Most of us know that it can strike anytime, but only a few prepares for it. The pain of separation stems from our attachment to the people that we live with and meet in our lives.

The steps of the grieving process don't come easy. Some people may cope better than others. For those who have difficulties, a part of them eventually dies with the dead. For those who have more enlightened minds, the acceptance happens at a faster rate. But still, the sting is there. The pain remains. It would just really depend on how one copes.

"There is no easy way to mend a broken heart." But life goes on. And it continues with one's children and grandchildren.

The Mirror Image of the Old and the New

The old would always linger on while it gives a different meaning to the new. The two faces of Binondo--a fusion of the old Chinese ways and the modern taste of the new generation of Filipino Chinese descendants of several decades of traders and farmers from the Far East. Amidst the familiar Fookien dialect that is the common tongue of communication, there is a different air of ambiguity to the surroundings of old Binondo as it is now fast becoming a haven for Chinese mainlanders. The mixture of the old and the new makes it now an even more interesting place as it attempts to harmonize a new breed of enterpreneurs.

Personally, it was not quite easy for me to easily welcome this new breed with hugs and warmth. But through the years, I've learnt to be awestruck with their resilience, industry, perseverance, and brilliance as they learn to speak the local Tagalog dialect to be able to be more effective salesmen of their wares of fabrics, plastic novelty items, electronics, and jewelry. Gradually, they made me have greater awareness of what globalization and free trade really means. Their entry may not have been a huge welcoming idea for native-born Filipino Chinese due to price competitiveness; but the consumers benefit well from those awfully cheap goods.

They made me look back at the past of my grandparents and other ancestors. They made me think how my grandparents had struggled to blend in the Filipino culture during those pre-war times that they migrated to the Philippines. It could have been much more difficult to penetrate the people, the culture, and the market.

With my future plans of immigrating to a foreign land, this scenario of the old and the new has taught me to be more courageous to face the challenges that await me. Although USA is the melting pot of a variety of cultures and people, the process of blending in remains to be a part of that new life of greener pasteurs, just as the Chinese mainlanders perceive the Philippines to be.

After all, it is really just a rite of passage for ALL migrants. The view of the old and the new opened my mind to the greater truth of what globalization and universality means.

Globalization is the Exodus of migrant workers.

crossings

sometimes i ponder and wonder on chance meetings and unexpected encounters. i believe that certain people that we come across have certain "missions" in our lives or vice versa. i have met a number of people who had made a great difference in my life. i have always been counting my blessings of having met such people whom i have learnt a number of significant things from. without their influences and contributions of their rich experiences in life, i would not have become who i am today. i continually cherish my learnings and enjoy this voyage to the destined encounters with these "masters of wisdom" and mentors of great talent.

i can only thank God for letting me meet these great personalities with great minds and kindred hearts.

but i guess not all learnings are from people who continually share their knowledge, generosity, or blessings unceasingly. sometimes the people who hurt us the most are the "necessary evils" who had to come our way to make us into stronger, more determined, and more appreciative people.

among the people who have hurt me the most are a couple of close relatives (everybody in this world seem to have their share of this kind of angst), a few trusted friends, some men i loved, and a few "bullies" in the school and in the workplace. i guess i am not the only person who has a fair share of these kinds of experience. all the pain they caused me in the past...all the tears and insults they inflicted...have all faded away into a memory. these people had unknowingly transformed me into a person of valor, deep strength, and willful character. i can only thank them.

unfortunately, a few of these people still wreck havoc to others. i can only continue praying for their minds to be enlightened.

Mind and Body

I have always admired people who practice yoga , but i never envisioned myself actually doing it one day. Yoga is beyond religion, race, and culture. Whatever branch of discpline of yoga, they usually have one thing in common -- a balance of the mind and the body through controlled breathing. And the effects are immensely exhilarating and impressive.

Although I'm a Buddhist and I try to practice meditation (samatha) as much as i can, I still find some difficulty in maintaining the (half) lotus posture whenever I sit. I find my lower back and feet aching after a while. Not that I'm getting old (at 31), but I realized that I lack the physical strength and the flexibility that would help me sit still a little longer. So i took yoga into consideration to help ease the development of inner core strength and to add flexibility. Besides I get to meditate in between poses or even during the poses. I even get to discpline myself to eat less and lose some weight in the process of toning my body. So much benefits...nothing to lose, only more to gain.

I took my first trial class last February. Gosh, it really took my breath away, literally. I was just in a couple of the routines in the standing series; but my body was already aching and my head was spinning. I almost passed out. I told myself that this might not be meant for me. But I still have 2 more classes left to complete the 3-session trial program that I enrolled in. I might as well give myself 2 more chances before I evaluate my body's capacity. The second session felt much easier than the first one--either my body has become adjusted or my mind was playing tricks on me. The third session felt the same as the second session. I think I'm beginning to actually enjoy the 90-minute class.

I can't stop myself. This is more enjoyable than going to the gym! I anticipate each single day. I look forward to conquering myself every yoga session. And I'm getting better at the poses. Poses I thought I could never do gradually becomes easier each time I do them. I"M CONQUERING MY LIMITS. I'm conquering my mind to make my body still. And I'm gradually losing weight. Well, I stopped eating so much and continued at taking in healthy stuff. Because of yoga, I've learned to love and respect my body more. So I don't stuff it with too much of anything, especially fattening food. My indigestion problem is not causing much trouble anymore. My lower back pain has vanished.
It's pretty amazing how yoga has healed my body. And I did it the bikram way.

It's an investment of a lifetime. It's a way of life.

Daddy's Memoirs

So much has happened in 9 years...so many things have changed...if only you were here, you would have been proud of what we have done over the years. each of us has moved on, lived our lives with different perspectives, cushioned our tragic experience and loss to death with much zest for life, and respect for the dead and the living. each of us learned to work well as a team and be independent as well. our spirits have risen above grief. we cherish life at the present more than ever. we appreciated the discipline of nourishing the body and mind with exercise and meditation.

we miss you...we will never forget how much you have given...despite your human flaws, you have been the best husband to mom and the best dad to us.

thank you for sharing yourself with us.

Feline grace

I've just finished watching a rerun of Sex and the City Seasons 5 and 6. After all these time of being off the air, the scenes still send me the shivers as I excitedly watched the parade of designer clothes, shoes, and feminine flamboyance. Women really just love all that flair. No wonder that series became an instant hit, much like the debut of Korean (and other Asian) soaps in the country. The outspoken and outgoing women of today easily identified with the boldness and openness of the main characters as they bring out the voices of the successful, single, working women of our times. Women patronized the series because of its women empowerment theme. Men secretly patronized because they learnt a few things about their women from the episodes. Female writers like Bushnell have wittingly interwoven the complexities of women in such great literary masterpiece-- from intricasies to idiosyncrasies to heartaches.

Shanghai Baby's author Wei Hui also had the same audacity with her exotic, shimmering feminism. I was enchanted by the passionate portrayal of women's strength of character (in Coco,her main character). It was an engrossing read.

I guess part of me can identify with these characters...as I have stood up to the challenge of binding traditions and culture with grace and bravado.

of weddings and endless love

At age 30, I have attended several weddings with different themes, motifs, and grandeur. I have my personal favorites. Be it simple, pompous, or simply extravagant either for the union of powerful business empires or for the sake of being part of the married couple society or simply for the noble goal of becoming parents. To me, weddings seemed more like a formal declaration of the desire to end singlehood (to seek for a new challenge in life or a new daily routine as the answer to their boredom) or the start of mutual dependency of two people or sometimes even as the saving grace to a new human life in concepcion. I have never looked at weddings with such wonder until the recent one I attended yesterday.

The couple initially appeared to me to be just like other couples who have reached the marrying age and wanted to get married. But after the audio visual presentation of their social backgrounds and a few words from the matron of honor, it surfaced as an extraordinary union. The groom was a former seminarian training to become a Catholic priest. The most important vow of his life was to become a man in service of God with celibacy as part of that vocation. He never thought he would serve God in a different manner until he met this amazing lady. As the matron related to us, the lady was his "answered prayer" from God as he sought for Divine Guidance for a final deciding point on his chosen vocation. He decided not to go back to the seminary ever since. That explained his bedazzled look and radiant smile.

I think I've never witnessed a matrimony as powerful as their unrelenting love and sweet gazes at each other. It's like watching one of the scenes from blockbuster romantic movies of Jericho Rosales and Kristine Hermosa or Aga Muhlach and Claudine Barreto in "Kailangan Kita." Only this time, these are real, regular people; but not some seasoned actors nor society celebrities whose weddings are being shot for the silverscreen or a television special.

It's an irony that it is only now as I have stopped believing in fairytale love stories and magical weddings that I have witnessed a heartwarming, enchanting love story. After all, true love brought together by destiny still exists. I think God was the One who brought them together. And their prayerful nature made all that difference.

I pray that this circumstance could also happen in my life.